Mia’s Story
The Front Porch of the Temple
“A woman's life is a temple to honor the goddess within her.
She is Priestess of her own life.”
Mia joins the other women clustered in front of the gate that bears this inscription. She often comes to these temple gardens to visit with her friends in this welcoming gathering place where women can step away from their duties for a while.
The courtyard is pleasant with fragrant blossoms, cool fountains, and the company of women chatting over drinks and fruit. Music plays, and some women dance together. They rest, laugh, and enjoy being waited on by the temple attendants.
At dusk they can leave and return to home and family -- the roles and duties they are accustomed to.
Mia sighs as the cares of her week fall away. Without these special moments with her friends inside the temple walls, she might not keep it together through her busy life of children, husband, her job, and her mother.
Each week, she watches as some women ascend the steps to the great Portico and gather in small circles.
A few appear to cross the threshold and disappear into the temple building.
Mia wonders:
What is so special about those women? Were they chosen?
What would it be like to be brave enough to ascend the steps and to be chosen to enter the dark mysterious spaces of the temple?
What do those words over the gate mean?
“A woman's life is a temple to honor the goddess within her. She is Priestess of her own life.”
All her life, Mia has lived in the security of what she’s been taught— that she plays a supporting, subservient role — and that is who she is. Like her mother, like the women laughing in this courtyard, that is ALL there is for her. Only here on her monthly visits to this temple garden, can she release her responsibilities and begin to imagine another way of being.
Who would she be if she disappeared into the temple? Would she be giving up the people she loves? the security and identity she knows?
If only she felt worthy to climb those steps! If only she were good enough to be chosen!
These thoughts and feelings well up from a deep place inside. They surprise her.
She notices a group of women gathering at the foot of the stairs. Some are already standing on the first two or three steps.
Someone, a priestess perhaps, is speaking to them. She is offering an invitation to come up to the porch.
Women jostle Mia as they move past her towards the porch. Overcome by curiosity, she touches one on the arm and asks, “Why are you going to the porch?
The woman fixes Mia with fiery eyes and a tense jaw. She spits, “I'm fed up! I can't take one more day as a slave girl when I know I am a queen! I have to go up!”
The barely contained rage of the woman takes Mia’s breath away. She draws back, stung by the emotion stirring in her that she didn't know was there. Am I a slave girl? A servant? Could I be a queen?
She stops another woman stumbling towards the stairs. The woman turns to gaze at her with eyes pooling unshed tears. “Why?”, Mia asks. The woman whispers, “I cannot live with this pain anymore,” and turns to place her foot on the first step.
Stunned, Mia’s mouth falls open, her hand on her throat, and tears prickle behind her eyes. It is the only sensation she can feel in her body, which seems to disappear.
She looks around her at the garden, which felt so pleasant a few minutes ago. The color of the flowers dull. The fountains fall silent beneath the beginning of a roar pounding in her ears; booming in her chest. She gazes at women laughing and sharing tea. Did they send a sidelong glance her way?
Suddenly she feels exposed, embarrassed, a stranger where she had once belonged. She cannot go back to join these women content in the garden. She feels ashamed.
Her eyes sweep toward the gate she happily entered a few hours ago. The thought of exiting that gate as the shadows grow longer fills her with dread. Her mind’s eye sees a shell of a woman with a mask like her face returning home to family, job, and duty.
Why dread the people she loves — her children, her husband, her mother? Why does the thought of going back to inhabit that house create so much anxiety?
Who is she without them? They need her! They give her life meaning and joy! Don’t they?
The roar in her head subsides and she looks down at her trembling hands. A white hot sensation rises from her belly to her throat while her blood runs icy cold.
Emotion rolls through her body. Where did this rage come from? What is this dark pit of grief in her belly? What is this despair closing in on her skin? What is this jolt of electricity between her legs!
“I haven't felt that in years!” she thinks.
Who am I without them? she wonders again, and the energy drains from her hands and feet; her face floods with tears.
Women are moving toward the gate to go home. A few say goodbye to their friends and move toward the bottom of the stairs, where Mia stands transfixed. Slowly the colors return and her heart opens with resolve and courage.
Mia says out loud, “I don't know who I am, and I will not go home until I find out!”
She turns to face the stairs.The staircase does not seem so high or forbidding or out of reach now. She reaches out to clasp the hand of the woman next to her and steps firmly on the first step. She begins her Ascent to the temple porch.
On the Porch
At the top of the temple stairs Mia stands with her two feet planted firmly on the porch. Behind her the courtyard feels small and far away. The porch of the temple feels cool and solid. The other women speak in hushed voices, now and then clutching one another's hands. The temple door opens and a white haired woman emerges. She gathers the attention of the women and they form a semicircle to listen to her welcome.
“In the name of the Goddess I welcome you to the temple porch. I honor your courage. I honor your desire to ascend the steps. This is the front porch of the temple. You are invited to enter the temple and receive its wisdom. However, this is not a decision to be taken without information, orientation, and deep listening.
“Please follow me to receive your first teaching.”
She leads the women to a corner of the porch shaded from the late afternoon Sun by an arbor covered with vines and flowers. Colorful cushions make a circle and she invites the women to sit down.
Two young women bearing trays of cups and herbal tea offer each seated woman a drink. Mia accepts her cup gratefully and regards the circle of women - strangers to her, yet sisters.
The women are all ages — some like her are middle-aged, a few older and several younger — and all sizes, ,shapes and skin tones. All different, all beautiful. What brings them here, together?
Many seem nervous, others seem meditative. Mia herself feels centered one minute and anxious the next. Her family will be expecting her before nightfall and yet the thought of going back now before she receives what she came for in the temple feels impossible. She breathes deeply and sips her tea.
The white-haired woman speaks. “I am Diva Lara, an Elder Priestess of the Temple of Womb Wisdom. I bring you here for your first teaching, a first step. It is a practical teaching that all by itself can change your life. When you have received this teaching you will be invited to make a decision on the next level of commitment to initiation.”
Diva Lara speaks matter-of-factly about women's sexual energy. She demonstrates simple ways that energy moves in a woman's body. With diagrams and pictures she explains all the parts of a woman's reproductive and pleasure center, how they work, the mysteries of female orgasm. She explains why it is important to a woman's well-being to be orgasmic.
There is baudy laughter with an edge of embarrassment among the women. Mia herself feels an unease that grows to anger. Why had she lived her whole life without this information about her own body? Why had she been married for 16 years and never known about engorgement or sacred spot or her clitoris?
She looked about the circle of women, their faces shining with merriment and flushed with pleasure. Diva Lara is talking to them about how they can explore their own pleasure with this information. Then they can teach their partners how to be better lovers. She offers basic tips on how to communicate this new information to their partners, especially to the men.
Mia notices that some women are sniffling quietly into their tea cups. Her own eyes are moist and her throat aches with mingled grief and rage. She breathes into her belly again to settle herself.
Diva Lara says, “You now have valuable information about your body and sexuality that can become true knowledge when you practice it.
“You can come back to this porch any time for a refresher course or to ask questions that arise as you practice pleasure by yourself or with your partner.
“How to be an orgasmic woman is important. It is important to you whether or not you are in a relationship. Your sexuality belongs to you. It is the fountain of your feminine power. It is literally the front porch of the Temple.”
She sweeps her hand around the Porch.
“Inside the walls of the Temple of Womb Wisdom you find layers and layers of wisdom, healing, and divine feminine power. It starts with your sexual pleasure, with healing the shame and owning your own sexuality — and there is so much more.
“You are called to so much more!
“Today you make a decision. Take your new knowledge of pleasure back to your home and practice it. Use it to fuel your own growth and enrich your relationship and your whole life.
“Or, you can walk through the Temple door and cross the threshold into the temple to be initiated into the deeper Mysteries. You have power that belongs to you already, but it is hidden away behind veils of ignorance, and mists of time. It is not your fault. The patriarchy has intentionally made us forget our power and magic. Patriarchy taught us to fear it. Our responsibility and joy as women and Womb Priestesses now is to remember.”
Diva Lara takes a breath and smiles, gazing into the face of each woman in the circle. Mia feels seen as never before.
Diva Lara says, “Now I will teach you a way to know your own holy truth so you may make your decision with integrity.
“Join me in this practice now.
Place your hands upon your belly like this — she demonstrates making a triangle with her fingers over her lower abdomen. Now close your eyes and breathe deeply and softly into this holy space of your womb. Feel the energy of the Earth rising up into your Womb to nourish you. Feel the light growing in your Womb. Feel the intensity of sensation grow as the light expands.”
Suddenly Mia is engulfed in brilliant light, white and warm, with pink and gold sparkles. She relaxes into the light surrounding her, letting her breath deepen and slow and her heartbeat grow quiet. She feels a spaciousness within. Around her is silence.
She opens her eyes in a dark space as if carved from a beautiful gemstone — labradorite perhaps or obsidian. Light streams from a window high above her. Behind her a vast blackness opens, but she is not afraid of it. She looks straight ahead. She sits before a modest altar with a crystal orb, a feather, and a small wooden box. An earthenware bowl of water is flanked by two burning candles. Her hands are on her belly in the womb center position. The cells of her body feel suffused with pleasure.
She sees her reflection in the mirror behind the altar. A smile plays on her lips and her eyes glitter from a deep place in her Soul. Out of the darkness an image gathers.
Mia watches her reflection with fascination as an astounding figure of a woman coalesces, glowing with Inner Light. She could only be described as a goddess, dressed in brocade robes, draped with jewels, and wearing a simple crown with a single glowing Jewel in front. The Goddess’s hands rest on Mia’s shoulders and Mia can feel their gentle weight upon her. She feels power surge through her body and she is transfixed.
Mia trembles slightly, whether with fear or awe, she couldn't say. She gazes into this Divine Woman's eyes in the mirror and she notices something surprising.
The eyes are as familiar as her grandmother's! Or her mother's! She glances at her own face and back to the goddess. Suddenly Mia is flooded with the knowing that this Divine Woman, this Goddess standing beside her, contains all her female ancestors from the beginning of time. The face is at once ancient and ageless. When she looks at her own face, she is as young as a child by comparison.
In an instant Mia is once more engulfed in bright light and feels herself breathing softly into her belly. Diva Lara's voice tells her to concentrate the light into her womb and when she is ready she can open her eyes. Before her eyes even open, Mia knows she is at home. She will enter the temple without reservation.
She opens her eyes and watches the women returning from their Journeys. Some weep openly. Some smile. Some catch her eye and nod.
Diva Lara instructs them, “You have returned from your journey into your womb temple with your truth. You know the answer to your question. There is no right or wrong, good or bad, better or worse.
“Your own Womb Temple which you carry inside of you has revealed your sacred Next Step.”
Crossing the threshold
Goddess Lara motions for the women to stand.
“You who have received the message to go home to your family with the blessings you have received here in the circle today may return to the courtyard.
“An attendant will accompany you to your home with a lantern to light your way, and gifts for your family and friends. Be blessed, be joyful, and know you are always welcome here.”
Mia watches the attendant women with lanterns at the head of the steps. Several women join them, and the lights bob down the stairs. The women mill quietly in the courtyard, each receiving a basket of gifts, then disappear through the gate, accompanied by an attendant with a lantern.
Mia turns her attention to the circle standing with Diva Lara. Sixteen women remain. Diva Lara picks up a lantern and walks to the door of the temple. Mia and the others followed silently.
The door opens into blackness. In the lantern light held aloft, Mia sees the threshold gleaming. She inhales into her belly, straightens her back, relaxes her shoulders, and steps across.
Mia plants her feet firmly on the marble floor of the vestibule. She is in a round room dimly lit by Diva Lara's lantern. The walls gleam with gold leaf and bright colors that shimmer in the soft light. The sixteen women are met by two robed figures coming down a hallway. They each carry a lantern and Mia gasps as the mural springs to life in the light – thirteen goddesses dancing!
Without a word that group organizes itself two by two and follows Diva Lara down the narrow hallway. It opens into a gallery surrounding an atrium set up for a feast. The last light of the day gleams blue through the glass roof. Tables are set up among trees and flowers blooming in the indoor garden. White-robed women light candles and bring platters of food to the banquet table. The new initiates visit the bathroom to wash their hands and pee. Temple Divas gather messages to be delivered to their families, explaining why they won’t be home for a while.
The feast is ready. The new initiates sit in the center of the long table while the Womb Priestesses sit at either end. An empty chair is at the head of the table. The High Priestess will not be joining them this evening. As the women enjoy their colorful meal they introduce themselves to each other, and meet the Temple Divas.
After a few songs, Diva Lara requests their attention.
“Welcome to the Temple of Womb Wisdom. By crossing the threshold you have begun your initiation into your own Womb Wisdom.
“You may have been led here by your own pain, and desire for healing and knowledge.
“Know that you are also called to an even greater mission.
“For the first few weeks you will dive deeper into the knowledge you were introduced to on the porch. You heard about pleasure and making love this afternoon.
“In the Temple You will learn the Mysteries.
“You will experience erotic energy as a spiritual practice.
“You will learn how to access higher planes of Consciousness.
“You will activate embodied wisdom mediated by your own feminine erotic energy.
“You will learn to listen to the goddess through your body and your womb.
“In time you will know how receive the wisdom and translate it into action in the world.
“You will meet the dark goddess within you and through her you will know your true power.
You will know your highest gifts and how to share them with the world —
effectively, powerfully, profitably.
“You will be qualified and charged to teach others.
“Because you are here now, you are called to serve a greater mission on Earth.
“You are called to teach your daughters the truth and mystery that was withheld from you.
“You are called to love the ones in the courtyard whose time for Initiation has not yet arrived.
“You are called to uplift your sisters around the world with the knowing of their own feminine power.
“When you leave this Temple as an Initiated Womb Priestess, you will be prepared to lead.
“As you receive, so you shall give. As you learn, you will teach.
“All of the Divas here at this table with you have been where you are now. We are blessed and honored by your presence. We celebrate your arrival with us.”
Mia’s heart blooms with joy. She feels her Soul expand inside her body. Her life is about to change, has already changed. She and everyone she loves will be better for it.
Joy, excitement, and fear of the unknown all dance together in her womb.
She is at home in her Temple of her body, becoming the Priestess of her own life.