Find the Jewel in Shame

A month ago on the longest night of the year, I took a walk as dusk began to enfold the woods. The message came:



I know you don't want to read about shame. I am commanded to write it, by the Goddess who adores you and calls you to her!

Shame doesn't want me to write this article, which I started a month ago!

This will be worth it so stay with me.

I've done some radical shame healing on my diva path. I still work with it deliberately, consciously, because one thing I've learned:

If there is something I am NOT MANIFESTING, I have SHAME hooked into it. 

Shame is at the root of your wounds, and your disempowering beliefs and behaviors.



It lies to you. It is a master of disguise, camouflage, and shape-shifting. It pulls things into the shadows. It sneaks around wearing an invisibility cloak.

It has tentacles, hooks, and many heads like a hydra.

Shame does NOT want you to SEE it! And it will go to extremes to stop you from being SEEN. It will keep you from showing up, shining your light, being visible and powerful!

If you go after the source of shame it will redirect you to work on a different issue, while it morphs into something unfamiliar and hides under a rock.

How do you go about healing shame when it is so slippery?

How do you find the Jewel in shame?

You make friends with it. 
You shine a light on it. 
You get naked with it.

Feed yourself MASSIVE DOSES OF COMPASSION in the places where you trigger shame.

Comes the day you reach your hand through that shadowy veil, you reach right through the shame and grab the jewel and the power on the other side.

You neutralize shame with your STRENGTH.

You make your SHAME SMALL AND YOURSELF BIG. This takes away its power.

This is rarely done in an instant, though it may feel like that. Sometimes shame hides and hides and you don't know what is wrong and why nothing works. Then one day, you see that slippery shadow slide under a rock and you say GOTCHA! And you walk right through like a miracle.

Sometimes you throw yourself against the problem till you are bruised and bleeding, and you keep chasing the shame, and trying to fix it, and one day, shame wears itself out. It steps aside and lets you pass into your power and glory.


It is time to deal with the shame that keeps YOU, your desires, and your gifts in the shadows.

Why does this matter so much?

It matters because Shame keeps a fundamental, powerful, expressive part of YOU in hiding.

If you are hiding you are not available for intimacy. Into-me-see. You cannot let yourself be SEEN.

Sex requires intimacy with your beloved. Wealth requires intimacy with the world at large. Voice is Visibility. All these layers of intimacy have an external and internal component.

Shame kills intimacy. It AVOIDS intimacy.

Its function is to hide things you are terrified others will find out about you. It is often behind the unconscious triggers that get flipped on when you try to achieve higher, or grow in a new direction, or interact with people in a new way.

Shame can strike anywhere. Its favorite playgrounds are sex, food, and money.

You know those BLOCKS people always talk about? When you feel blocked, look for SECRET SHAME.

Entrepreneurs come up against secret shame in business when it is time to be visible, make sales, declare your value, make a stand, take a risk, or make an investment.

If you are resisting, feeling stuck, avoiding something, or in denial, look for shame.

It will stop your manifesting in its tracks, no matter what tools and magick you have.

You have to reach into the Shame to grasp the Jewel in order for your magick to work.

How do you find the jewel in Shame?

Shame doesn't ever want to be OUTED. You don't challenge it to a duel, or demand it come out with its hands up! You don't shine a bright light on it. You can't shame SHAME.

You have to become stronger and bigger than your shame. The only way to do that is through Love and Compassion.

You Love shame into the Light, gently, compassionately, relentlessly.

The day I started to write about Shame, it seemed like everybody on Facebook was writing about Shame too. My astrologer started talking about it, and mentioned Mars conjunct Nessus. It made sense that in the time between Winter Solstice and New Years, shame was front and center in everyone's mind.

In some Facebook groups people were encouraged to “show courage and declare their shame,” to bring it into the light.

I do not advocate that approach.

There may come a time when that is exactly what you have to do, but it happens after you've grasped the Jewel, not before. You need to feel safe and strong and accepted – no matter what – to name your shame.

If you try to out your shame without doing the necessary work to befriend it first, it will slip and slide and grow tentacles and hooks and dig in deeper somewhere else.

So I won't ask you to do that.

I do invite you to begin to notice shame in the privacy of your own thoughts and journal.

-- Start ferreting out shame. 
-- Look at where you are hurting and poke around. 
-- Catch its slippery shadow out of the corner of your eye. 
-- See what rock it crawls under.

Become aware of what makes you stop, and dare yourself to see the shame behind it.

Remember that Shame is a LIE, and it is an ILLUSION. You may have built your identity around the LIES of shame.

It matters that you approach healing shame with utmost respect, compassion, and support.

This process may not be easy or quick. There may be a lot of detective work to do. You may have to heal your way to the feeling of strength that will let you face your shame triumphantly.

If your experience is anything like mine has been, this might hurt a lot. I promise you it is worth it.

It is not something you do alone. I didn't do my shame work alone. Over the years I had a priestess, a circle, coaches, therapists, Tarot experts, medicine sisters, ceremony, Spirit Guides, and the Earth Herself to help me. I needed them all.

Depending on where you are in your journey, you may need a lot of support. Or you may simply need to make a decision and take that ONE defining step toward the truth inside you.

In the end, you stand tall and strong, reach your hand into the shadow, and grasp the Jewel. The Jewel is your gift, your mightiness, your invincibility.

It is the magickal tool that will bring you that which you desire, and empower to give back to life that which you came to be.

Your Jewel gives you the courage and the energy to declare your dream and do the work your dream requires.

Your Jewel is uniquely YOURS. 

Do you want support to release the hold Shame has on you? Do you want someone who has your back as you GROW YOURSELF bigger than these old wounds that run your life? Do you want to learn how to grasp your Jewel and bring it into the light?

Book a complimentary 30 minute private consultation to discuss how you can take steps to break the bonds of shame and find your own Jewel.

Select a time in my online calendar here:

I desire your freedom from shame! Do you?

Carla Sanders