When her only available answer is NO, it is time for new questions about sex.

Part 2: When the only available answer is NO.

#sexaftermenopause

IT STARTED WITH A HUSBAND’S LAMENT:

Q. My wife is very interested in spirituality but seems to have lost all interest in sex. She says most of her friends her age (mid-50s) feel the same way. I’m committed, but I didn’t sign up for celibacy.

I IMAGINED THE WOMAN'S DILEMMA:

Her sexuality post-menopause has changed. She doesn't feel desire as she once did. Sex as usual doesn't satisfy her as it once did (if it ever did.)

As a woman in menopause, she is exploring parts of herself, her spiritual life, that she did not have time and attention for when she was younger. This is normal and very common.

In the absence of desire, libido, and interest in sex as the status quo, her natural response is NO.

There may be a feeling that the sexual part of her life is over. She may or may not feel sad about that.

Bottom line is Her answer is NO.

She knows her partner is unhappy. She probably knows she's putting her marriage at risk.

And the only answer available to her is NO.

Oh, there is so much we don't know about these two lives!

One thing his lament and her dilemma illustrate is the high personal cost of sexual illiteracy in modern society.

We lack language and experience for talking about sex.

People have limited ideas of what sex is, how sex changes throughout our lives for both women and men, and how interconnected sex, spirit, and intimacy are.

The range of answers available to people like this couple, especially the woman, is so much bigger than NO.

The first step is to get curious about what is going on with you.

To sit in a circle of women who agree they are not interested in sex anymore and be content with that ought to at least raise a big Wait a minute, what up with that?

Women who seek spiritual growth while ignoring sexual energy are bypassing their most powerful resource for Divine Feminine Power.

The Spirit's journey to the Soul is through the body.

Time to ask some new questions, such as:

What is Sex?
What is Orgasm?
Who am I as a sexual being?
What is the purpose of desire?
How do I tap into my desire again?

How does my sexuality bring a deeper dimension to my spiritual life?

These and other questions can co-exist with the uncomfortable questions of
Am I normal?
Am I broken?
Can this be fixed?
Am I too old, too ugly, too fat …?
Can my marriage be saved? Do I want to save it?

Your spiritual journey as a sexual being can become your partner's spiritual journey too.

And as in all matters orgasmic and sexual....

You come FIRST!

I am answering these and so many other questions as I create the new program working title “Sex After Menopause.”

What are your questions about sex as you approach menopause?